Love is Always A Reason To Hold On

Love is always a valid reason to hold on to someone, and it’s the only valid reason.

Stop devaluing and discarding relationships just because the passion has dwindled. Stop breaking up because you’re unhappy. Stop allowing yourselves to drift apart; even if you don’t want to be together anymore, stay together anyway.

If you ever loved each other in any way that counts, then you still do, and that is enough. Love is the point of being together, and being together is the point of love.

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“Embarrassing Yourself” Requires Feeling Embarrassed

Embarrassment is an emotion. When people accuse others of “embarrassing themselves”, I can’t help but wonder: Are they mind-readers, do they not know what embarrassment means, or are they just projecting the embarrassment they would feel in that situation?

Either way, the person has to actually be embarrassed in order to embarrass themselves. Embarrassment is an emotion, and different things induce this emotion in different people. Some people aren’t even capable of embarrassment.

Even if embarrassment were defined by how others think and feel, it would still be subjective, as outsiders’ opinions will vary. Not everyone who witnesses your actions/words/situation will perceive it as worthy of embarrassment. There are even people who view nothing as potentially embarrassing.

Others can ridicule us, admonish us, and even feel embarrassed on our behalf without it reflecting on our own emotions. Many people even feel embarrassed sometimes when no one is around at all.

Embarrassing yourself requires the presence of embarrassment within you. It is a feeling, not a subjective external viewpoint. Don’t let anyone try to tell you how you feel unless you want them in charge of your emotions.

Bladder Strength Isn’t About How LONG You Can Hold It

The strength of a person’s bladder isn’t measured by how long they can hold pee. It’s measured by how much they can hold.

Regardless of how long your last bathroom break was, you bladder isn’t going to be able to hold in 5 gallons of liquid. But if all you have is half a cup of urine in your bladder, you can hold that indefinitely (assuming you are a continent, sober adult with no medical condition and an at least average-sized bladder).

Everyone’s bladder has a physical limit as to how much it can hold. Beyond that limit, time won’t help you, and below that limit, time is hardly an issue.

Just more common sense that everyone pretends not to get, which leads to unwarranted judgment and poor treatment of others.

“Life Isn’t Fair” Doesn’t Mean PEOPLE Can’t Be Fair

Stop saying “Life isn’t fair” to justify the conscious choice to be selfish and uncaring. Human beings generally have the option of at least trying to be fair to one another, regardless of the circumstances life throws at us. “Life isn’t fair” is nothing more than a straw man argument; you know damn well that when someone complains of unfairness, they are talking about a deliberate choice someone made, not life itself.

I’ve stopped using the phrase “That’s not fair” altogether, because I’m tired of people responding with that buzzphrase and I don’t always have the time or patience to explain what they damn well know I mean by it.

Instead I say, “That’s not right“. I highly doubt anyone’s going to say “Well, life’s not right!” in response to that. Also, by specifying it as a moral issue, I am basically forcing the person to face the fact that I am referring to a conscious choice someone made. They must either defend the morality of the action, admit it was wrong, or admit that they’re amoral pieces of trash who don’t give a damn.

But everyone’s days of saying “Life’s not fair” to absolve themselves of their selfish and abusive choices are over with me.

I Do Need To Be In a Relationship To Be Happy

For those who say, “You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy”: speak for yourself. You sure as hell aren’t speaking for me, no matter how strongly you believe you are.

Happiness has different sources/conditions for different people. I do need to be in a relationship to be happy; yes, always. Not with just anyone, but my happiness is conditional upon having someone to share my life with completely.

And even if I could change that, I wouldn’t. Happiness is cheap if it isn’t shared with a lover. In fact, love is far more important than happiness.

You don’t decide where my happiness comes from. I don’t even decide that, and if I could, I would choose to make love my source of it.

“Self-love” is not enough, and romantic love is the greatest form of self-love there is. To unite as o.ne with someone who was once another is what I live for… even if or when it doesn’t make me happy.

Being A Good Lover is NOT About “Skill”

There is no one-size-fits-all method for pleasing a man or a woman. Being a good lover isn’t about the size of your dick or how you use it. Not for me, at least; what it means to be a “good lover” varies from person to person, depending on the unique needs and desires of the individual you are having sex with.

Here’s what it takes to be a good lover for me. Here is what pleases me in the bedroom:

1. Be uninhibited. Don’t hold back. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be squeamish. Don’t fight your body’s urges. Follow your instincts and do what feels right for you.

2. Be on my wavelength. Whatever act we’re partaking in–whether it be simple kissing, intercourse or an intense BDSM scene–should have the same meaning and purpose to us. Or at least, we should understand where the each other’s heads are.

3. Listen to me. I don’t like the same things most women like, so if you’re taking advice from a book, magazine or “expert” on how to please me, you’re doing it wrong. The only person who can tell you how to please me is me. Take my word for it when I say that I like or dislike something; don’t try to “correct” me on what my own tastes and preferences are. If I ask you to do something for me, try it. I’ll walk you through it. No pressure; even if you never get it right, that’s far from being a deal-breaker for me. There are things I can’t do too, like deepthroat without vomiting, or riding a dick at any steady pace for more than five seconds without getting cramps in my legs.

And ultimately, even getting to dry-hump a man I’m strongly attached to for a few seconds a day is a much more fulfilling sex life for me than anything a stranger, enemy or casual sex partner can do for me. My body follows my mind and heart. Even something that would generally repulse or displease me can be enjoyable with the right person, like spitting on me or breaking my flesh with your teeth.

It’s not about “skill” or method. Not all bodies (or minds) are the same. And, according to my spiritual beliefs, pornography and loveless sex are abominable anyway. I believe sex is always supposed to be a private and exclusive experience between two people, learning how to find pleasure in each other together without any outside opinions or advice except from God Himself.

Sex is about consummating our union, indulging and experiencing each other in every way humanly possible, closing every conceivable gap between us (all of which happens in important non-sexual ways as well)… and from my “religious” standpoint, it also serves the potential purpose of continuing the cycle of love in this world by bringing more lives into it and leading them by example.

“My Own” and “Your Own” Can Mean The Same Thing

Something can be your own and still be shared. Two or more people can own something equally and entirely. Something can also become your own by being given to you.

Besides, in marriage, we are one anyway, not two separate people.

Sharing a mind with someone, for example, does not mean you have “no mind of your own”. That collective mind is your own mind.

If my boyfriend and I share a bank account, that is my own bank and his own bank account. And if/when we get married, then “his own” and “my own” will always be synonymous by default.

We need to stop viewing ownership as an isolated experience. Ownership can be shared. If something belongs to me, it is my own, whether it is only my own or not and whether I acquired it alone or not.